So it seems the powers that be have deemed it necessary for me to introduce myself to you all. I don't really see the point of it (You probably will be confused), but here goes:
My name is Saul Jacoborn. My age is irrelevant, and I live in room 211. I doubt any of you could tolerate such a tiny setting, but I've minimized my needs so the room is plenty of space. I don't have a job, nor do I need one (heh), but I play myself off as a custodian in the theatre whenever it's... prudent and necessary to do so.
My past is not something I'm proud of, by any means. I was too stupid to see the folly of my ways, but I'm on the right track now. I supposed all of you are concerned with how I look so you can avoid me on the street or at our mailboxes, so I'll provide a brief description. I'm 5'7", I wear clothes you would consider to be unfashionable, and you'll probably think I'm insane because I mutter when I stroll. It's mostly a mechanism for keeping people away.
You might ask why I'm here. The answer is that it wasn't my choice, but I'm now glad to be able to watch you people as you worry and fret. Whenever you see a shadow in the alley, eyes glimmering, that's me. When you see a standing figure on the roof, that sentinel is me. But don't worry. I'm not here for you.
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6 comments:
I love how you've left everything really vague. I'm geniunely curious as to why your character is so mysterious. Your finish is especially clever, because your character seems almost mythical, and I want to know who or what he is here for.
Your character is vague, its up to the world what happens next, but at the end you leave it clear "and are we not what happens to us?" that you hold the memories and stories of the past. I'm very intrigued to see what happens with this character.
Interesting...I like the ending alot. I think that you are going to need to be influenced dramatically toward the beginning because your character is so vague. But its definatly up to interpretation as to where its going to go from here.
What made you decide on the name "Saul?"
for the love of god William, why must you be so vague? You know that kind of stuff drives me crazy. The ending is spectacular and I am of course extremely interested in seeing how you are going to develope said vague character. And why do I have to list the letters below to publish my comment?
"O Man...O Man...O Man" he thought as his feet devoured the steps his body moving fast as lightning down the creaking stairwell.
"I cant be late twice in one week....I'm on my Leo's last nerve as it is!"
He leaped when he got toward the bottom and stiffarmed the door wide open. His frantic dash was suddenly interupted by a short but stocky human wall.
"OUCH" his mind screamed as he tried to regain the breath that the collision had stolen. Then the smell hit him...that rotten eggs and mildew smell that had just begun showing up in random places around Thallow Flats.
"Oh excuse me"Ray managed to sigh, hands on his knees, gasping and staring at the ground. "didnt see you there"
Just a loud grunt "huh...yea, yea, ok" was all Ray heard. Then he looked up to see the creature he had had the misfortune to meet that morning. Taken aback by the oddity of this dimuntaive but somehow large person Ray stagered and shook his head.
"Um well id better be going" Ray somehow got out.
"Yes....you should" screeched the man. But Ray was already gone...left foot pumping then his right all the way to work.
He finnaly got to the shop and didn't see any signs of Leo as he walked past the Honda on the left of the shop. He saw someone up under the hood of the car but decided not to interrogate the newbie...best to act like he had been there the whole time.
He silently opened his tool box that was shoved under a pile of rags and slid under the Pinto that had been his project for the last few days....
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